You are probably more generous than you think!

Last week the actor Paul Walker probably best known for his role in the ‘Fast and Furious’ films died in a car crash. Something few people know about this guy happened in 2004. A young couple Kyle and Kirstin Upham where in a shopping mall in Santa Barbara looking at engagement rings. They had seen one Kirstin really liked but it was very expensive and so were discussing this. Unknown to them Paul Walker was eavesdropping on their conversation. He bought the $9000 Dollar ring and gave the sales assistant instructions to give the couple the ring slipping away before they could see who’d been so incredibly generous. What happened has only come to light after his untimely death. The account touched me because Paul Walker just wanted to bless without glory. There’s something which stirs in my soul when I hear such stories, like deeds of light in the shadows of ordinariness. I believe there are so many ways to be generous and most of them don’t require a big bank account.

We can give a gentle answer when someone is all in our face. We can hold a hand and just be in the moment of another’s pain. We can encourage and bring hope into situations of exhaustion and defeat rallying another’s inner faith.  We can make time to listen and cultivate an attentive ear so other's know the value of their story. We can choose to be slow to speak, giving careful consideration to our words as James 1: 19 encourages us. We can serve the dreams of other’s reminding them of their goal when the road gets tough. We can choose a beautiful attitude in the mist of ugly and hurtful people. We can cut ourselves and others slack when they mess up and we can wait when we least want to. When I think of the character I know I need to do these things, it feels easier just to get my cash card out. 

So how generous are you?

With God’s help I’m getting better….

Hugs Ruth

The power of Vulnerability

I don’t like being vulnerable. I really mean it; I don’t do the whole vulnerability thing well at all.  A few weeks ago I shared a very personal testimony about my walk through depression to subsequent freedom. I have to confess for me this was a difficult thing to do. Firstly not very many people were aware of my battle with the deep sadness apart from a couple of very close friends. At the time of posting I wondered what people would think, particularly those who only know the Pollyanna me. The pretend me who smiled and tried really hard to be a ray of sunshine despite inner turmoil. I wondered would they feel deceived or mislead and if it would it cost me friendships? Secondly I grew up in an environment where people have ‘real problems’ for goodness sake and so I wondered if my family would roll their eyes in misunderstanding! Thirdly I know there are some folks out there who for their own reasons, dislike me and I felt it might fodder ammunition.

I’ve been pondering this for a while now and God’s been showing me a few things; like…

When we’re honest in our vulnerability we’re not a threat, when we’re vulnerable we release other’s to fully ‘be’ all that they are. When we’re vulnerable in honest truth we touch a God given core in each human soul because everyone has their weak spot! When I look at the viewing numbers on my blog there’s usually fifty or so who read it but in uncovering the whole topic of the deep sadness there where hundreds who read and I hope where encouraged. 

Maybe by setting down our shields of protection we can draw out the softer warmer, gentler side of human nature. Perhaps by being less paranoid and suspicious we can see past the prickles (and we all have ‘em) to the tender heart. I believe God is calling me to practice a new aspect of faith – the faith to be vulnerable and to trust that vulnerability into His mighty hands. And Just in case I wobble in my vulnerability… John 10:28 reminds me there ain’t nobody who can snatch me out of His hand!

Go on praise God with a little dance – jiggle it BABY!

Hugs Ruth

So what are you really saying about yourself?

I have a wonderful friend who is a prolific social media user. My friend has been going through a very painful time emotionally and although they are in the public eye what’s happening in private is unknown to the world. This is tough because they are required to project an image which masks their ‘real life’ pain. My friend commented, ‘I know looking at all my posts and tweets it seems like I’m really busy, out at events all the time and surrounded by people, but actually I spend a lot of time alone’. Their words broke my heart because someone going through such heartache needs a trustworthy hand to hold.

Our conversation got me thinking about the validity of social media - what are we really saying when we tweet/ post/blog or whatever?

I believe the truth will set you free – so how free are we when we are projecting a particular slant on the story of our lives? Speaking from experience I know faking it is hard work and takes regular maintenance – I’ve worn false tan, eyelashes and nails! What’s produced from this maintenance is a burden. A burden for ourselves and others to carry because it sets a totally unrealistic standard! Advertising thrives on such stuff! Look at the beautifully smooth legs in a lady shave advert. What most blokes don’t realise is that 48hrs later there’s horribly scratchy stubble, producing in-growing hair and spots! The smoothness comes at a price and is only temporary. Likewise when we try and project an image it comes at a cost and will only ever be a temporary fix. However walking in the truth that the utopia of smooth legs is momentary will set you free! But let’s consider the other side of this coin -being too open.

How often have you gone online, read something and thought Nooooooooooo! I have seen many inappropriate and way too personal details posted online and cringed. In fact I’m sure I’ve done this myself! There is wisdom in knowing the difference between public truth and private truth; balancing the two is necessary to stay safe and be at peace. Some things should remain between you and the Lord; deep things, personal things, particularly where other folk are involved. But there are many more bits of our world fit for wide consumption, births, deaths, marriages! Things which we can be free and open about without regret. There is a side to our worlds which bring life and light when we share out there in cyber space but there’s also a side which will bring destruction.  I’ve found it helpful at times to take a social media fast, using the time to be still and know that He is God. And He is God! God of the trial, God of the pain, God of the mess. He’s also God of our comfort, God of our peace, God of our purpose, God of our strength …. You are who He says you are, He sees your precious heart, He looks at you and says, ‘it is good!’

Hugs Ruth

Freedom from the deep sadness

I have a secret; it’s not something a good Christian should struggle with.  I’m embarrassed to confess that due to the shame of my secret at times I have at times been one person in public and in private another. You see, for most of my life I have suffered from depression.   The ‘deep sadness’ is one of my earliest childhood memories and has been there in the background of my world like a bad smell for as long as I can remember – I honestly hate it! I have never wanted to be the wet blanket or fun sucker for others, so in public I’ve been a Pollyanna kept my sorrow to myself. The  ‘Deep Sadness’ has exhausted me, overwhelmed me and held me captive in a whirlpool of hopelessness which at times has felt like a living death carrying with it a deep sense of shame because you know the wonder of what God has done. You know His goodness, love and mercy and this compounds your feelings of self-exasperation. I have prayed I have fasted; I have kept a ‘thank you’ journal to help me stay grateful. I have had other people pray for healing and tried to do all the things which are meant to help - regular exercise, sleep and serving people. I even wrote a book to help me cheerlead myself and guess what it cheerlead others instead!

At the beginning of this year I went to a delightful place in Kent  www.crowhursthealing.co.uk (wonderful place, I’d recommend it). I like to take time to get away at the beginning of the year and just be with God. From this time God and I usually produce a list of things to pray about /act on throughout the year to come. Well this year I’ve been praying for freedom from the ‘deep sadness’ amongst other things. I know God answers prayers… So we’re in November...

Well peeps it all started about 6 weeks ago I put in place some boundaries; it was liberating and showed me how very burdened I’d been carrying stuff not given to me by God. A week later we had a wonderful visiting preacher Nikki Rucci who came and spoke about issues of the heart. I always assume there’s dross needs burning off when I hear sermons on such topics and was bracing myself because I gotta lotta dross! However over the course of the following week God showed me some deep, deep stuff He wanted to heal – wounds I had endured for the sake of His church. It’s sad but I had gotten to a place in my walk were I thought you just did this thing called service with a broken heart – A week later our pastor Paddy Venner spoke on freedom and ‘how the devil is terrified of our future because all he can goad us with is the past’.

Friends I have to tell you for the last 6 weeks now the deep sadness has gone – completely! It was nothing I did, there was no clever therapy or strategy… only God and I’m still in a state of awe at what God has done and pinching myself with the reality of it all! My sister is still terminal, there are still concerns, challenges and work to be done but I am miraculously free – and free indeed!I want to use this blog to praise the source of my freedom Jesus Christ. If you’re battling with a chronic condition - do life God’s way your character will be developed in the process but God will come through for you. The words from Habakkuk have been my mantra over the last 15 years or so.

Habakkuk 3:17- 18 “Even though the fig tree does not blossom and there are no grapes on the vines; even if the olive harvest fails and the fields produce nothing edible; even if the flock is snatched from the sheep fold – and there are no herds in the stalls, as for me I WILL rejoice in the Lord. I will find my strength in the Lord who delivers me”.

Sometimes breakthrough takes a long time but who the Father sets free is free indeed – I’m so looking forward to the rest of my life…

Love Ruth x

Time isn't precious people are…

In Northern Ireland in the 70’s - 80’s the regional radio station which most folks tuned into was called ‘Down Town Radio’ snappy eh?  Good old ‘Down Town’ could be heard in offices, mini cabs, dentist surgeries, gyms, corner shops and café’s all over Northern Ireland. It belonged to all sections of the community and was happily shared by everyone. Like many social interactions the very act of sharing can produce a something unpredictably wonderful - Something which ignites the human spirit and reminds us of our own fragility and the need to love a little more. 

In this case it was a song by a local country and western singer called Philomena Begley; her song was called ‘One Day at a Time’. It was the height of the troubles, a time of stress and storm for many and the words of this song captured the transience of life. It encouraged ‘Yesterday’s gone sweet Jesus and tomorrow may never be mine so Lord for my sake teach me to take one day at a time’.

As we journey through life I’m increasingly aware that time stops for no man; there is a moving forward, always forward and we only have this day.

What I’ve come to see is, time isn’t precious people are! When we reminisce we remember the shared experiences, the impact of shared words, the mutually held beliefs and cultural values of our time. When she died at 97 my granny was relived to go because most of her contemporaries had already left. She had couldn’t share with anyone who knew ‘what it was like’ because generations had moved on. Those who were precious to her, those who added colour to her world were no longer there.

Guys we are here for such a short time...

Look around you and cherish those in your journey’s path for you share more than you know.

Hugs Ruth x 

Why my learning style stopped me watching the news!

Each one of us has a pre-wired sensitivity to learning through our experiences. We're created for growth and development and will filter our understanding though what we know - so far. As we grow our social and emotional environment will mesh with our biology to shape and inform our personality. Depending on what's encouraged and discouraged as you grow - you'll have particular areas of sensitivity which will touch, inspire, motivate and energise you... but there'll be other areas which will be just as sensitive but more difficult to negotiate. I'm deeply impacted by the spoken word coupled with a visual outworking of that word. At conferences I'm the one blubbing at the video trailers!

Philippians 4:8-9 reminds us to focus our minds on positive things and what we learn from God to put into practice so we can know peace. So what's this got to do with me not watching the news? Well... I've found I get so caught up in the suffering, the injustice and the evil (negativity sells!) that my peace is robbed and my practical love for people is hindered. The TV news hits the buttons of my learning in an unhelpful way. I've got a great App on my phone where I can now read what's going on so I'm still effective and have peace. 

 So what's your learning style ? Psychologist and Pastor Jonh Ortberg categorises...

• Visual -  learn best by watching / looking /seeing
• Auditory - learn best by listening / hearing attending to environmental sounds
• Tactile - learn best by touching / handling/ doing
• Oral - learn best by make sense externally through speaking/ saying / repetition
• Social - learn best by interacting / group work / team tasks
• Logical - learn best in linear process / written / reasoning/calculation
• Imaginative - learn best by engaging emotion through art/story/imagery*

Are there changes you can make in light of self recognition to help you get peace?

Hugs Ruth x  

Taken form the 'Me' the me I want to be by John Ortberg pg. 56 Zondervan Publishing 2010

Egg shell shuffle...

 I once worked for a person who was explosive and aggressive. This made for awful working environment, where we, the staff would tiptoe around for fear of getting lamb blasted. This person’s leadership style was to instil fear into those beneath him, openly criticising and finding fault. He would humiliate staff and seemed to take delight when they made a mistake and he ‘caught them out’! We all dreaded going into such an abusive environment each day. He was a poor example of leadership and we all breathed a sigh of relief when one glorious day he left! What was interesting was after he’d gone I noticed I still felt jumpy and did my job in the shadow fear. You see I’d become so conditioned to walking on eggshells that when they were no longer there I still tip toed around as if they were. Psychology has shown it takes time to unlearn a deeply ingrained behaviour and I had to unlearn fear and learn trust.

When you’re walking on eggshells you can’t walk in faith or creativity because faith & creativity and fear don’t mix. The good news is we were not created to tip toe through life. In Christ we are changed from victim to victor. In Christ we are free to stomp around in big beautiful blessed boots because when we know Jesus as our saviour and best friend we walk on solid ground. God created us with trust as a massive character component which is why it hurts so much when trust is violated. It’s good to remind ourselves this God we love is trustworthy. He is totally dependable, He will never lamb blast us and certainly never delights in our mistakes – He loves us and wants us walking in faith not fear. Are any areas in your life where you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Allow the Holy Spirit to take you by the hand and restore your confidence. 

Hey and next time it rains go stomp in some puddles and remind yourself you’re free!

Hugs Ruth x

How your attitude to marriage reflects your attitude to church!

We live in a consumer culture, one which places great significance on our power of choice. In fact we are actively encouraged to choose based on how we feel and what will gratify. Pause for just a moment and think about the last time you went shopping. Why did you buy what you bought? Did it satisfy you? And where is it now? You see in our Western world there is a cycle - choose, consume, and discard.  Do you know what I mean? We ask ourselves what will this do for me, how it will enrich our life and if it doesn't meet our expectations we can simply get rid and do the whole cycle of choice thing all over again.  I wonder how far reaching this cycle is; how much consumer orientation happens under the radar of our collective consciousness?

Many in our society practice a ‘try before you buy’ policy when it comes to relationships. If it doesn't gratify or work out each one can simply walk away. This choice, consumption, discard cycle will leave us dissatisfied because we’ll want the next new thing. For the first year of my married life I genuinely thought I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. All I could see were the negative aspects of my husband – I actively looked for the things the poor guy got wrong so I could prove my ‘theory of negatively’ about him. Here’s the thing WHAT YOU SEEK YOU WILL FIND! I wanted evidence to back up my reasoning that my husband was a jerk and guess what I found it, because he is a human being! In focusing only on the negative I lost sight, I blinded myself to all his many great qualities. What’s more I slipped into deception in relation to my own numerous flaws.  Over the years I have learned that the wrestling process grows character and staying in the game is good not just for us two but for a much wider circle of folks.

Now think about your church… sadly there are those with their own theories of negativity about their churches; the principle the same – what we focus on we WILL find. You look for what’s wrong and you’ll find it because the church is made of flawed human beings.  It grieves me deeply when people treat the church as a product. When something that’s said rubs them up the wrong way they leave to continue the consumer cycle elsewhere. The problem with this is just like my marriage analogy is it renders us blind and when you’re blind you’re vulnerable to that which you cannot see.  Just like a marriage when we sign up to a church we are in a relationship with that body. Being in a relationship means you belong to each other. Your church belongs to you and you to your church. By committing to the wrestling process in doing life with others we grow in grace, build hope and mature in love. How have you been treating your church? Have you been a source of love and encouragement to that that body? Are you cheerfully committed through times of body odour and bad jokes? Perhaps you need to go to God and apologise for your attitude towards or your treatment of His bride? 

Mmmm.... food for thought this week I know I'm challenged - by my own words!

Love Ruth x

Why there will be dogs in Heaven...

How cute is Max? This is his prayer position. When I Have my prayer time in the morning he knows I'm busy and resigns himself to the fact that his ears will be unruffled for a while. He's not stupid playing to his strengths and my weakness, he assumes the 'I'm going to lie here on my paws and blink up at you periodically with my big soft brown eyes full of love' position! 
He is part of our family, we have relationship with him, he blesses our world. To me he is a surrogate child who models many things which reinforce all that is good about being in relationship with our wonderful God. Things like unconditional love, obedience and joy of life. He also models few unmentionable things too which reflect our own human condition. Mmm...let's just leave that one at greed...  well, he is a Labrador! 

In Romans it reminds us that this world isn't it. It reminds us that there is a world yet to come of which all creation groans and longs for. Romans 8:21 'Everything in creation is more or less being held back God reigns it in, until both creation and all the creatures are are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead' - The Message Bible. 

One day, a day known only to God, all of the fragmentation of this broken world will come together and in Him be made whole. All of creation, even our pooches will know no decay instead the glorious world that Our Father has designed for us; a new world where we are together in hope and united in love. I'm kinda glad Max has a prayer position because he reminds me submitted, humbled and looking up adoringly at Jesus is a good position to be in.

Hugs Ruth x 

Some days it just hurts to be Human

The picture above is a monument to five people who were killed by a terrorist bomb in Florence in 1993. It shows a man striding forward into the future carrying five other's one for each person who died. It is 20 metres up in the air on the back of the Uffizi Gallery in Florence, Italy and is called I Passi d`Oro (The golden Strides). I think it's rather beautiful. We live in a world full of evil and full of good. Perhaps like me you have days when it feels like you're treading on tip toe through the shattered glass of our broken world. It hurts to be human on these days. It can feel overwhelming when we're swamped by images of injustice or senseless wounding. Or it's closer to home and careless words or thoughtless actions batter our vulnerable hearts. Yes it's hard to wrestle through life on days like these.

And then... we catch something of a whisper as light breaks through the ash and smoke. We receive some kindness, we feel the fingers of the one who holds us as we stand in the palm. We remember that we are not alone. We remember that there is one who will (Rev 7:17) 'wipe every tear from our eyes' and nurse the wounds of our souls back to full health. For it's on these days we understand a little bit better what is says in John 16:33 - even though trouble is certain Our Christ has overcome the world and because He has overcome we can too. We can rise above the moment and be a beacon of victorious hope to those coming after. If you're 'feeling your humaness' today please know God sees and He cares. He is loving and good no matter how it seems and He is the answer to your pain. I pray you will allow Him to remind you of your hope...

Hugs Ruth x 

God & the 3 pin plug!

When I moved to London 20yrs ago I had the opportunity of going to ‘speaker’s corner’ which is a place beside Hyde Park where anyone can go, stand on a soap box and speak about anything and everything. I watched these two men debate; one was an atheist and one was a theologian. It was very interesting - a bit like a verbal fencing bout.  After a while however I found that I was simply bored of their parrying; not because it wasn't interesting but because there was no engagement of heart. It was just point scoring…

Psychology shows we learn best when we are ‘emotionally invested' in what we’re what we’re expecting. I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed ‘theologically’ but I do seek out and have the the privilege of hearing some great bible teachers. They just blow me away with their insight and wisdom not to mention their real 'ness' and humour! The difference with these guys  and the ones at speakers corner is they enable a connection between the word of God and my heart. This causes an effect on how I do life. Someone once said ‘trying to connect with God through the mind alone is like trying to put a 3 pin plug in a 2 pin whole – it won’t work because connection with God essentially happens through the heart ‘. God the Father, God the Son and God the spirit...

 What do you need to do to improve your connection with all 3 today?

Hugs Ruth x

Spiritual Identity Theft?

I’ve been uber busy people!  – pre-holiday cleaning for the burglars, post-holiday laundry, grocery shopping, trips home to visit my sister who’s poorly and a son going off to collage not to mention all the ‘church stuff’… yep it’s buzzzzzzy. Trying to get time with God has been a real challenge over this summer; our God time is often the first thing to go when life is squeezed isn’t it? As my role changes (I’ve now an empty nest) I’ve become acutely aware of my need for God to remind me who I am because without Him I’m not really, well… me! I posit there is a link between who we are after spending time with God and our identity. And I’m not the only one look at Moses after spending time with God his face shone…

We like to be shiny… we all have a public presentable ‘identity’ but God is after the real you. At the end of your life He won’t ask ‘why couldn’t you have been more like Mother Teresa’? There’s a great bumper sticker which reads ‘be yourself everyone else is taken’ and that’s the point. God made you – you for a purpose. Your temperament, your ethnicity, your gifts and limitations, your parenting even, was all thought through for a reason. Nevertheless we need to get smart our enemy is a great liar; if he can deceive you about who you are you’ll live an unfulfilled life. Do you ever find you to live to please people, or live through the distorting filter of comparison? Do you feel the pressure to be something or someone you’re not? Do you forget your royal position? These are all evidence of his handiwork and why we need regular Holy Spirit infilling.

I’m speaking to myself here but we can snooze into apathy and indifference to who we are and what we’re meant to be doing on this earth. We can easily be distracted robbing us of our identity and our part in the greatest show on earth! We need to pursue what God values; we need to know our ‘role’ so we can keep our focus passionate. You see our values and convictions shape our choices which shape our lives.  I’m a wobbly person deeply flawed and often wrong. I need my saviour to whisper who He says I am when the world says I’m useless; conversely I need Him to humble me when I forget without Him I’m nothing. Get with God today and ask Him to remind you who you are…

Hugs Ruth x

The Limitation of 'self help'

I'd like to flag up a less obvious, kinda quiet, culturally accepted ideal - if we just tried a bit harder or exercised more discipline we'd be able to accomplish oh just so much more!!! Self improvement strategies and how to 'be all you want to be' and 'get the most from life you can' is one of the fastest growing markets in the West. Our search for improvement is big business! Some of these tools can be useful in helping us negotiate life. It is healthy to be able to say 'no' at times to others or more often ourselves. It can bring life into our life, to rest, to forgive, to let go and more. However all our efforts are of limited value because the one thing strikingly consistent in humanity is our inconsistency... Many books, CD's or video's sit in a drawers gathering dust while our intention to change is seduced by another fad or worse still these things serve to reinforce our own negativity about ourselves. I think its part of the enemies plan, to fuel frustration, self loathing and discouragement... oh and did I mention big business? 

So what do we do with this? There most certainly is a need to press through stuff, to implements changes which will help us to waltz in rhythm with the music of our maker. To quote John Ortberg 'We are God's project not ours'. But that's the point, the changes we work through need to be Spirit led. In Zechariah 4:6  we're reminded 'No not by power nor even might but by My Spirit says the Lord God Almighty'! Boy doesn't that take the pressure off! I don't know about you but I'd rather eat my own personal elephant one Holy Spirit inspired bite at a time. I want to work in harmony with Him so my 'self' is changed for God's glory for eternity.

Be encouraged - 'We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthen us' Philippians 4:13. 

Hgs Ruth x

In Quiet in Crisis

Giving birth is a scary thing - I've been blessed to do it twice but both times there was a point at which mentally and physically I felt overwhelmed and I thought nope I'll do this another day. I actually tried to talk my husband into taking me home! One thing I noticed was my inability to make noise of any sort. On some strange unconscious level it seemed the quieter I was, the less reality the physical and mental meltdown held. This was in total contrast to the poor women in the room next to me! I guess what I discovered about myself is I'm simply not a screamer. Interestingly the medical staff told me they are more mindful of the 'quiet ones' because less alarm is raised when things go wrong. The danger is as we try and suppress or put on our stiff upper lip we can make ourselves unwell. Given the rise of diagnosis of mental health problems we can perhaps assume there are many people are going through life in quiet crisis.

We all deal with crisis in different ways like the woman next to me in hospital - you may be vocal, you may be a great communicator who works out solutions, reasons and understanding through interaction with other people or God in prayer. If this is you be encouraged that you've found a way to get purchase on the slippery rock-face of crisis. There are others who internalise in an equally healthy way. You may get your purchase through reading, information finding, meditation, reflective prayer or writing.

I am aware of a number of you going through different aspects of crisis (thanks to those of you who have shared privately via email- you are in my prayers and it is my privilege to encourage you). It breaks my heart to know there are folks going through awful situations feeling so very alone. For some of us the pain of life can be just too much, so gut wrenching that it feels like no one else could possibly understand. Beloved when you are paralysed in the moment of utter doubt, utter hurt, utter crisis there is one who understands. His name is Jesus and He gets you, He gets the situation from the inside out of who you are. He will sit with you till your head stops spinning and your breath returns. He will comfort you and nurse your brokenness back to life. You don't ever have to be alone - ask Him to meet you there humbly, quietly in your crisis for He cares. 

" Cor 1:3&4 'Praise be to the God and Father of out Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.'

very gentle Hugs this week

Ruth x

Jesus uses introverts too!

This is not an extrovert or an introvert it's just a cute monkey!

 

There are many conferences going on over the summer and it's a wonderful thing for tens of thousands of people in our nation to come together to seek God and worship Him. I love conferences they are a great way to spiritually recharge, inspire vision and build relationship. We are so very blessed to live in a time of excellent communicators, sophisticated music and the freedom to gather. I am aware however that there are those folks for whom such a huge gathering would be a trial. Those who need solitude to reflect, to deeply process and internalise before they become operational. I've had a growing sense over the last ten years or so that  - high octane pumped preaching for many, equates to being full of the Holy Spirit and 'on fire' with the plans and purposes of God. Perhaps this unspoken attitude is a throw back to the power dressing, dog eat dog attitude of the 90's but somehow we have seen extroversion as good and introversion as bad. 

This is a problem for me for I am sensitive and was brought up not to shout to be heard. I'm easily intimidated, and flourish where I feel safe. I'm not a great visionary but admire those who are. I like to fill in the beauty the detail - I like to ponder on the mystery of God as I watch a sunset or cuddle a new born. Perhaps you can empathise? At times I've tried to 'be' what I thought a good Christian was then wondered why it has led to frustration and emptiness. One time I was lamenting my temperament to the Lord and He showed me a couple of things

1. Pressing through timidity, fear and self doubt is part of His plan to develop my character.
2. My weakness is a strength to the body in that I will pick up on the hurt, lost and lonely in a crowd.
3. People like me flesh out the vision of others - cushioning the steel frame with the softness of Christ.

We only have to look at history to see the pendulum of extremes in human values. Perhaps the trend for introverts is on the increase as their contribution to the kingdom is recognised. But the truth is we love and serve a God who values us all and has a job for us in the building of the bride - it doesn't matter if you're on the steel team or soft furnishing just build with all you are to the glory of God. 

Hugs Ruth x

How's it Hanging?

I love watching house renovation programs; the idea of taking something dilapidated and giving it a whole new lease of life really appeals to me.  The sense of fruitfulness as planning, preparation and hard work, not to mention the skill of the tradesmen and how that all comes together to produce something life enhancing makes my heart smile. One of the things which fascinates me with these impressive structures are the front doors because they are the first reflection an outsider sees of the design preference of the folks inside. Regardless of design however doors have one thing in common, they hang on small or even invisible hinges.  When hanging a door there is a critical moment where each hinge and bracket must line up if the door is to be hung successfully on its turning point. Do you know, I think there’s an analogy to be had with here… Let me illuminate, the small choices we make and how we respond can have a hugely significant influence on the direction of swing of the door of our lives. Hinges can be positive, like falling in love or getting a job but many more hinges can be difficult and painful; when a loved one dies, we fail when it mattered - what holds us and what do we hang on then?

The Greek word for turning point is ‘Krisis’-  it relates to chariot racing and the point where the driver had to basically do a U turn before the home straight. During ‘the turn’ the balance of the chariot is most likely to be thrown off and a crash result. It’s where our English word crisis comes from. Rarely does it feel like it at the time but there is a plus side to this turning process. Krisis forces a change in our stance bringing balance to what really matters to us, shaking lose all the sawdust of superficiality. The turning action increases our awareness of the need for support from something beyond ourselves. Just as the door is stressed as it is hung it’s the stress of each hinge with each bracket as it turns which causes a secure fit. Guys you may not always feel it but you are secure in Christ. He will never leave you or give up on you no matter how things seem. In that point of crisis when you take a deep breath and panic pray for the wisdom, words of life or courage stay the course it’s then you are lubricating your spiritual hinges. Furthermore when we choose to work through the grind and friction of the bend with the Holy Spirit’s tools - graciousness, encouragement, love you now His stuff! We bring freedom, movement and an opening for God restorative power in the lives of others. If you’re feeling (please forgive the poor pun) a bit unhinged, know nothing can move you out of the will of God (Jn 10:28). 

Be encouraged every hinge, every bracket in your life is crafted by the hand of a master craftsman and will work according to His GOOD purpose and plan!

Hugs Ruth

How's your hearing?

‘Sometimes a man wants to be stupid if it lets him do a thing his cleverness forbids’ - John Steinbeck

The above quote sums up our human potential to get into trouble! It reminded me how in war communication is a strategic tool. Get it wrong people die. Mishear a directive and it can be the difference between winning or losing the war. In the same way it’s vital we hear our Commanding Officer, Jesus.  I have to confess there are times in my life when I blatantly knew I was doing wrong and didn’t want to hear God. I clapped my hands over my lugholes and carried on only to come a cropper down the line; not only that, others became casualties as a result of my actions.

Wilful sin causes spiritual distortion in our ability to hear. A bit like a short wave radio that’s not tuned in, it renders our conscience fuzzy preventing effective communication and that can cost lives. Our short term pleasure can have serious long term consequences. we need to keep the air waves clear to hear the Holy Spirit saying - this is the way walk in it. Not only do we need direction we need encouragement refreshing, hope, love and more...

 Proverbs 8:33-34a “Hear my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed is he who listens to me…” 

In the battle for your soul how’s your hearing?

hugs Ruth x

What behind your Sofa?

 

I don't know about you but my sofas over the years has been known to hide things like a stain on the wall or the carpet. My sofas have found new purposes, uses for which they are not intended like becoming reservoirs for our loose change, biscuit wrappers and worse... In Buffalo USA , in 2010 a family found that an old painting tucked behind their couch was worth an estimated $300 million dollars. The painting a Michelangelo, belonged to the Kober family who had put it behind their sofa after it had been knocked off the wall with a tennis ball some 27yrs before isn't that a hoot! 

On first finding it they thought it was probably a copy and weren't too bothered. But then the Dad of the family retired and as a new hobby started to trace the family tree. It was while tracing through the family history retired Lt. Col. Kober realised it might be an actual unfinished work. The painting ‘The Lost Pieta’ which was authenticated by art historian Anthony Forcellino is now in a bank vault.

How often we overlook the true value of something because it’s familiar or out of sight. This painting is still out of sight in a bank vault somewhere but its value has been realised and changed the lives of the Kober family forever. We all have less obvious things in our lives that perhaps we need to look at with a fresh sense of appreciation. Just for fun why not go run your hand under the cushions of you sofa - let me know what you find!

Hugs Ruth x

Enjoy the Moment

Isn't technology brill? My daughter has an 'i' phone and she plays this game where she takes a kind of photographic commentary on her life and swaps it with her friends who do the same back to her. Yesterday's one was of my husband asleep on the sofa while I painted my toenails. She caught us in a moment of down time, family chill time bless her; enjoying it so much she just had to share it with the world ~ pesky kids! The adjacent photo is my beautiful sister in law and my brother in one such moment. I'm finding moments are precious...

As a family we're walking through terminal illness. There is a sense in which this urgent vulnerability heightens the moments - giving a shaper focus a more vivid colour. When limits are set into our world, only then do we really appreciate what we have. Try going without food for a few days to have a bowl of soup set before you, boy... do you enjoy that soup! The very limitations in which we find ourselves can give us an appetite for greater things and enhance the ordinary. No matter how sad or bad things are we always have so much to thank God for. It's been a process but I can honestly say I praise God for each and every limit He has placed on my life; for I can look back and really KNOW He was in each moment with me.

I'm trying to develop the art of stopping just to drink in the goodness of Christ and I paddle along. Can I encourage you to stop what you're doing, take 5 and breathe?

• Praise God for that breath
• Praise Him for the senses you have
• for joy of movement
• for friends and family   
• and for soup!
• 
  

Hugs Ruth x

But Lord it takes so Long..!

We live an hour from Cambridge so one of the cheap and cheer filled things I love to do in the summer is pack a picnic, hire a punt and mess about on the river Cam... it's especially good when it's not raining! The above picture is one taken from said punt a couple of years ago; when on that occasion we had a student do all the donkey work. As he pushed us along he regaled some historical juicy info about the people and buildings of years gone by. He told us each building took so long to build that literally generations of men from the one family would be employed, each father passing on his skill or craft to his son and so on. If walls could talk and that - three even four generations of people investing their time, energy, skill and hard work into a project that they would possibly never get to see in completion. 

I've been thinking about the stuff God builds, you know important stuff like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control (Gal 5:21).You know what I mean? The really important stuff that takes much investment, it's hard going and Lord it seems to take so long!!! My Dad used to say 'if a job is worth doing it's worth doing well', folks God builds in a most excellent way. He uses big solid life foundational stones of forgiveness, perseverance, single mindedness, courage and more... He won't cut corners or a do a cosmetic fix - I'm glad that what He builds is built to last for eternity. He is detailed and works with precision where He needs to and brings form from formlessness. Next time you feel exasperated with the process of being changed from glory to glory remember this -your spirit the eternal bit on the inside of who you are, is being built to last - forever!

Big squeezy Hugs this week!

Ruth x

Lord HELP I've a pickle in need of removal!

I've been feeling pretty good about life recently... Yep seeing growth, feelin useful, kinda Zippy Do Da - ing with the Lord through life and if I'm honest thinking yeah I'm not where I used to be with that issue... It's easy to be miss growth in your own character and totally fantastic when you catch yourself being all grown up and acting with maturity where you once would have had a complete melt down. Yeay me? Well I'm studying the book of James at the moment (see link below)
 http://www.lifeway.com/James:-Mercy-Triumphs
It has always been one of my favourite books I like his directness and his cry to get on and be the love of Christ. I enjoy his challenge to partner with the Holy Spirit and embrace the work of continual God glorifying change through our relationship with Jesus. I have to confess to feelin a little smug at one point because the study was dealing with a particular subject I felt I had nailed, ha ha...! While I was patting myself on the back and doing a little dance the Lord with humour and love showed me a different issue which was holding me back - don't you love it how God keeps our feet on the floor!! He lead me to Matthew 7:1-5 and showed me how I can make quick fire assumptions about others and how assumptions are related to judgements. OUCH...! Guys God is so gracious He is for us, He loves it when we want to grow and He points things out so we can walk in victory and not be held back by the junk in our trunk. So this week and maybe even longer the Lords helping me remove a pickle - so I can walk more freely!

• I'm sure it's not just me, ask the Holy Spirit if there's a pickle pertinent to you and for His help to remove it?

Love being real with you ...

Hugs Ruth x

That don't impress me much...

I wonder what impresses you? thin thighs, people who fast for weeks, super mums who can do it all on 3hrs sleep? Seriously we've all got stuff that pushes our buttons on the 'impressive' front. Usually we admire the qualities in another that we haven't quiet mastered in ourselves. I'm impressed by those with great intellect and wit; those who are humble and exercise meekness in the face of provocation or those who remain cheerful despite ongoing hardship. How about you, what does it for you? You see the substance of what we favour is fluid, the things that impress us at 20 will be very different from what rings our bells at 30 and so on. When I woke up to the love of Jesus many years ago, I was impressed by much of what people said. I was impressed by funky guitar rifts and great lighting rigs. I liked touchy feely churches that were breaking out of the ritual of a hymnal in the hand and polite nod to thy neighbour on a Sunday. It really impressed me then... 

After 20 yrs of waking up with the love of my life, Jesus each day I'm impressed by other things. Other qualities that are non negotiable and enduring ~ things like humility,  truth and costly love. There is a danger in the computerised fusion that is social networking we build platforms, create image and portray the version of us we'd most like to be. The things that impress us can be what we are to the outside world. Be honest how many of us put up the really cruddy photo's on our face book wall? But here's the thing when you strip all the touch up away and permit yourself to be honestly just you ~ the stuff of substance can be seen. I wonder if we fear what we'll find, if our lack of substance scares us? There is only one person in this life really worth impressing and that's our Heavenly Father.

• Why not determine yourself to do something this week solely for the purpose of impressing your Heavenly Father... it can be your secret!

Hugs Ruth x

Persistence Overcomes Resistance

I just LOVE the bible, it continually surprises me as God shows me new aspects of Himself through words which actually do seem to jump off the page at times! It really is our hitch hiker's guide to life... When I grasped that Jesus loved me so much He died for me 20 or so years ago, I have to confess, while I knew reading the bible was a good thing to do a lot of it didn't make much sense. I was pondering this when the Lord clearly spoke to me saying 'Ruth you've gotta be in it to win it' - So I set myself a goal I was going to read the bible from cover to cover a chapter a day. As I did, God started to help me understand what I was reading. He even placed folks in my path that I could pester with questions and boy did I pester!

God loves our curiosity for Him! I'm glad the hunger to find out more about Him has only gotten stronger over the years. Recently I had to give a talk which required study of leaders in the old testament. So their character traits were fresh in my mind when a friend (an international businessman) told a story of a client who pestered him so much to meet up for lunch he eventually gave in and agreed to look at the 'new invention'. It reminded me the great leaders from the bible. Those people who achieved amazing feats despite great difficulty. You see those who lead others and inspired vision had pester power. They just kept plugging away until one day things started to change. You may not feel like you're the most talented, wise or strategic person in the whole world but You have a wonderful purpose which matters to the Kingdom of Christ.

•  What things do you need to keep pursing?
•  Do you need to pester someone, perhaps God for divine intervention?  
• Are you feeling weary, disillusioned or hopeless?

Beloved be encouraged things will change - persistence given time will overcome resistance...

Love Ruth x