So what are you really saying about yourself?

I have a wonderful friend who is a prolific social media user. My friend has been going through a very painful time emotionally and although they are in the public eye what’s happening in private is unknown to the world. This is tough because they are required to project an image which masks their ‘real life’ pain. My friend commented, ‘I know looking at all my posts and tweets it seems like I’m really busy, out at events all the time and surrounded by people, but actually I spend a lot of time alone’. Their words broke my heart because someone going through such heartache needs a trustworthy hand to hold.

Our conversation got me thinking about the validity of social media - what are we really saying when we tweet/ post/blog or whatever?

I believe the truth will set you free – so how free are we when we are projecting a particular slant on the story of our lives? Speaking from experience I know faking it is hard work and takes regular maintenance – I’ve worn false tan, eyelashes and nails! What’s produced from this maintenance is a burden. A burden for ourselves and others to carry because it sets a totally unrealistic standard! Advertising thrives on such stuff! Look at the beautifully smooth legs in a lady shave advert. What most blokes don’t realise is that 48hrs later there’s horribly scratchy stubble, producing in-growing hair and spots! The smoothness comes at a price and is only temporary. Likewise when we try and project an image it comes at a cost and will only ever be a temporary fix. However walking in the truth that the utopia of smooth legs is momentary will set you free! But let’s consider the other side of this coin -being too open.

How often have you gone online, read something and thought Nooooooooooo! I have seen many inappropriate and way too personal details posted online and cringed. In fact I’m sure I’ve done this myself! There is wisdom in knowing the difference between public truth and private truth; balancing the two is necessary to stay safe and be at peace. Some things should remain between you and the Lord; deep things, personal things, particularly where other folk are involved. But there are many more bits of our world fit for wide consumption, births, deaths, marriages! Things which we can be free and open about without regret. There is a side to our worlds which bring life and light when we share out there in cyber space but there’s also a side which will bring destruction.  I’ve found it helpful at times to take a social media fast, using the time to be still and know that He is God. And He is God! God of the trial, God of the pain, God of the mess. He’s also God of our comfort, God of our peace, God of our purpose, God of our strength …. You are who He says you are, He sees your precious heart, He looks at you and says, ‘it is good!’

Hugs Ruth

Freedom from the deep sadness

I have a secret; it’s not something a good Christian should struggle with.  I’m embarrassed to confess that due to the shame of my secret at times I have at times been one person in public and in private another. You see, for most of my life I have suffered from depression.   The ‘deep sadness’ is one of my earliest childhood memories and has been there in the background of my world like a bad smell for as long as I can remember – I honestly hate it! I have never wanted to be the wet blanket or fun sucker for others, so in public I’ve been a Pollyanna kept my sorrow to myself. The  ‘Deep Sadness’ has exhausted me, overwhelmed me and held me captive in a whirlpool of hopelessness which at times has felt like a living death carrying with it a deep sense of shame because you know the wonder of what God has done. You know His goodness, love and mercy and this compounds your feelings of self-exasperation. I have prayed I have fasted; I have kept a ‘thank you’ journal to help me stay grateful. I have had other people pray for healing and tried to do all the things which are meant to help - regular exercise, sleep and serving people. I even wrote a book to help me cheerlead myself and guess what it cheerlead others instead!

At the beginning of this year I went to a delightful place in Kent  www.crowhursthealing.co.uk (wonderful place, I’d recommend it). I like to take time to get away at the beginning of the year and just be with God. From this time God and I usually produce a list of things to pray about /act on throughout the year to come. Well this year I’ve been praying for freedom from the ‘deep sadness’ amongst other things. I know God answers prayers… So we’re in November...

Well peeps it all started about 6 weeks ago I put in place some boundaries; it was liberating and showed me how very burdened I’d been carrying stuff not given to me by God. A week later we had a wonderful visiting preacher Nikki Rucci who came and spoke about issues of the heart. I always assume there’s dross needs burning off when I hear sermons on such topics and was bracing myself because I gotta lotta dross! However over the course of the following week God showed me some deep, deep stuff He wanted to heal – wounds I had endured for the sake of His church. It’s sad but I had gotten to a place in my walk were I thought you just did this thing called service with a broken heart – A week later our pastor Paddy Venner spoke on freedom and ‘how the devil is terrified of our future because all he can goad us with is the past’.

Friends I have to tell you for the last 6 weeks now the deep sadness has gone – completely! It was nothing I did, there was no clever therapy or strategy… only God and I’m still in a state of awe at what God has done and pinching myself with the reality of it all! My sister is still terminal, there are still concerns, challenges and work to be done but I am miraculously free – and free indeed!I want to use this blog to praise the source of my freedom Jesus Christ. If you’re battling with a chronic condition - do life God’s way your character will be developed in the process but God will come through for you. The words from Habakkuk have been my mantra over the last 15 years or so.

Habakkuk 3:17- 18 “Even though the fig tree does not blossom and there are no grapes on the vines; even if the olive harvest fails and the fields produce nothing edible; even if the flock is snatched from the sheep fold – and there are no herds in the stalls, as for me I WILL rejoice in the Lord. I will find my strength in the Lord who delivers me”.

Sometimes breakthrough takes a long time but who the Father sets free is free indeed – I’m so looking forward to the rest of my life…

Love Ruth x