Loneliness a Thief or a Benifactor?

‘Loneliness is not the absence of people it’s the absence of intimacy’ Max Lucado

I Love this quote from Max Lucado it captures the essence of our human need for deep meaningful interaction. We lived near my family in Ireland for 5 years after my son was born. Nam (my better half) couldn’t get work there and so for a year I tried to sell our house while he worked in Manchester.  Eventually the time came where we could move and be together again in England which was good but I had a sense of foreboding because over the year of being ‘on my own’ with the family I’d developed some deep friendships and was now to leave them behind. Well, we moved, rented a flat and started to remember how to do family life… However there was a big problem. While Nam had moved on having new relationships and challenges in his new job; the kids and I were bereft of those deep friendships which as proverbs says are more precious than gold.

In Ireland we lived in a street full of children where mine had friends they loved and I had an open house which buzzed. Being in a small flat felt like being in a prison. Not the finest hour of the family Tong. I remember many tear filled nights while Nam was at work and the kids were in bed where the sense of loneliness felt so heavy I thought it would crush me completely. This was not helped by the fact I’d fallen out with God for not doing my life my way!

What I really needed was a friend, one who really loved me warts and all, one who shared my story and knew my heart. I needed someone who’d laugh with me and at me… The thing was I had such a friend but I was so busy being cross with Him that I kept myself in that place of loneliness for longer than I needed to be.  Self-focus in my place of pain robbed me of the solution to my problem – getting out and developing new deep friendships. God is good though… Opposite our flat a precious Malaysian girl had just had her first baby and was totally overwhelmed. I love babies… I love people… we became friends. Over time God drew her to Himself showing His great love for her in a wonderful way and He graciously allowed me to watch Him work. How great is our God? Peeps, loneliness can be the catalyst for moving forward and discovering new treasure in the clay of where He's brought you!

Hugs Ruth x

My friend!

Juggling - it's a load of balls but you gotta love it!

I’m studying again, I’m also… running two different ministries, sorting out number one son’s auditions, moving house while my better half is in India, organising a conference, writing a new book, mothering the dog, emailing agencies to promote ‘Shine’, wiping congealed yogurt off the bin, speaking publicly, slappin on face cream, exercising - oh yeah and writing this blog. That’s a lotta juggling! I know the yogurt reference mighta been a bit much but you get the picture…? I was looking back over previous blogs (so I don't bore you silly) and observed being busy is a kind of theme for me. Now I have to fess up and tell you dear friend – I could win competitions in whingeing because I tend to bite off more than I can enthusiastically chew and so I frequently find myself face down knowing my need of God. When I find the overflow of my heart is drivel and I’m entangled in the threads of my own making I know it’s time to step off the world, let it spin and get with God. I need to do this a lot! Just closing the door and climbing up on God’s knee is a good place to be, from there I can get my priorities straightened out. My Father’s lap helps me to see what I'm juggling from heaven’s perspective and sets my world back in time with His divine rhythm.

Guys I love my life, I love the business, I love seeing plans come together and I love feeling a sense of productivity as I see my plans take God's shape. But I do want to juggle only what He places in my hand. If you watch jugglers you’ll see as they drop or include a ball, their rhythm changes so the flow of their movements can absorb or adapt to the new pace. We come a cropper when we try and introduce a good idea that’s not a ‘God’ idea into the mix. Some of us juggle with balls some of us juggle with scarf's or skittles which is great... We juggle different things in different seasons too. A few years ago I was juggling school runs, Karate, and yep yoghurt on the side of the bin (no one in our house is a very good shot)! My parents who are in their 70’s still juggle with great gusto, only these days they model wisdom to their rhythm which makes their juggling poetic and beautiful.

I wonder what you’re juggling at this time?

Do you need help with your rhythm?

Climb up on your Father’s knee ask Him to show you what you need to see, then drop / pick up what He shows you and enjoy the juggle!

Hugs Ruth x 

When you're up to your neck in alligators...

When you're up to you're neck in alligator's - don't loose sight of your vision to drain the swamp! I don't know where this phrase is from but I've have had a love hate relationship with it over the years. I'll explain why...
At first I thought oh how wonderfully positive hold on tight to your dream and all that but the reality is when you are up to your neck in Crocs surely its better to get your ass out of there and live to fight another day?  As followers of Christ we have trials in the world because our enemy simply hates us and is passionate about our destruction. But we know our God loves us and is victoriously passionate about His creative process in each of our lives. If our enemy can't steal kill or destroy us He'll try the same with our hopes so we at least have a miserable life. 

For a long time I had a dream - it wasn't a particularly spiritual or holy dream but it was mine and it warmed my heart on grey days. In my mind I'd take my dream out and play with it, but time rolled forward as it always does and life's disappointments like alligator's crawled onto the shore of my island. My dream got lost in the sand - so for a long long time my life felt like I was just fighting them gator's with a pokin stick! One problem would get nudged back into the water only for another to sneak up from behind. I'd cry out LORD why? I yelled at God, I huffed, I puffed, I said some stuff I can't write here! I got to a point where I resigned myself to just doing this thing with a broken heart - it was a step of faith even to dare to dream... 

Gradually God showed me how He used those Crocs to shape me. He used those pesky critters to improve my agility, my strength, my ability to jump and negotiate change or difficulty. He reminded me of His faithfulness, His provision and His power to swat the humanly unswattable! Then one day I saw a glimmer in the ground as I looked very closely He bent down and picked up my dream from the sand, He blew on it, dusted it off and tucked it back in my heart from where it fell.

Have you some gator's in your swamp? - if so I'd love to pray for you please do message/email me privately... and I'll lend you a Pokin stick! 

Love Ruth x