Time isn't precious people are…

In Northern Ireland in the 70’s - 80’s the regional radio station which most folks tuned into was called ‘Down Town Radio’ snappy eh?  Good old ‘Down Town’ could be heard in offices, mini cabs, dentist surgeries, gyms, corner shops and café’s all over Northern Ireland. It belonged to all sections of the community and was happily shared by everyone. Like many social interactions the very act of sharing can produce a something unpredictably wonderful - Something which ignites the human spirit and reminds us of our own fragility and the need to love a little more. 

In this case it was a song by a local country and western singer called Philomena Begley; her song was called ‘One Day at a Time’. It was the height of the troubles, a time of stress and storm for many and the words of this song captured the transience of life. It encouraged ‘Yesterday’s gone sweet Jesus and tomorrow may never be mine so Lord for my sake teach me to take one day at a time’.

As we journey through life I’m increasingly aware that time stops for no man; there is a moving forward, always forward and we only have this day.

What I’ve come to see is, time isn’t precious people are! When we reminisce we remember the shared experiences, the impact of shared words, the mutually held beliefs and cultural values of our time. When she died at 97 my granny was relived to go because most of her contemporaries had already left. She had couldn’t share with anyone who knew ‘what it was like’ because generations had moved on. Those who were precious to her, those who added colour to her world were no longer there.

Guys we are here for such a short time...

Look around you and cherish those in your journey’s path for you share more than you know.

Hugs Ruth x 

Why my learning style stopped me watching the news!

Each one of us has a pre-wired sensitivity to learning through our experiences. We're created for growth and development and will filter our understanding though what we know - so far. As we grow our social and emotional environment will mesh with our biology to shape and inform our personality. Depending on what's encouraged and discouraged as you grow - you'll have particular areas of sensitivity which will touch, inspire, motivate and energise you... but there'll be other areas which will be just as sensitive but more difficult to negotiate. I'm deeply impacted by the spoken word coupled with a visual outworking of that word. At conferences I'm the one blubbing at the video trailers!

Philippians 4:8-9 reminds us to focus our minds on positive things and what we learn from God to put into practice so we can know peace. So what's this got to do with me not watching the news? Well... I've found I get so caught up in the suffering, the injustice and the evil (negativity sells!) that my peace is robbed and my practical love for people is hindered. The TV news hits the buttons of my learning in an unhelpful way. I've got a great App on my phone where I can now read what's going on so I'm still effective and have peace. 

 So what's your learning style ? Psychologist and Pastor Jonh Ortberg categorises...

• Visual -  learn best by watching / looking /seeing
• Auditory - learn best by listening / hearing attending to environmental sounds
• Tactile - learn best by touching / handling/ doing
• Oral - learn best by make sense externally through speaking/ saying / repetition
• Social - learn best by interacting / group work / team tasks
• Logical - learn best in linear process / written / reasoning/calculation
• Imaginative - learn best by engaging emotion through art/story/imagery*

Are there changes you can make in light of self recognition to help you get peace?

Hugs Ruth x  

Taken form the 'Me' the me I want to be by John Ortberg pg. 56 Zondervan Publishing 2010

Egg shell shuffle...

 I once worked for a person who was explosive and aggressive. This made for awful working environment, where we, the staff would tiptoe around for fear of getting lamb blasted. This person’s leadership style was to instil fear into those beneath him, openly criticising and finding fault. He would humiliate staff and seemed to take delight when they made a mistake and he ‘caught them out’! We all dreaded going into such an abusive environment each day. He was a poor example of leadership and we all breathed a sigh of relief when one glorious day he left! What was interesting was after he’d gone I noticed I still felt jumpy and did my job in the shadow fear. You see I’d become so conditioned to walking on eggshells that when they were no longer there I still tip toed around as if they were. Psychology has shown it takes time to unlearn a deeply ingrained behaviour and I had to unlearn fear and learn trust.

When you’re walking on eggshells you can’t walk in faith or creativity because faith & creativity and fear don’t mix. The good news is we were not created to tip toe through life. In Christ we are changed from victim to victor. In Christ we are free to stomp around in big beautiful blessed boots because when we know Jesus as our saviour and best friend we walk on solid ground. God created us with trust as a massive character component which is why it hurts so much when trust is violated. It’s good to remind ourselves this God we love is trustworthy. He is totally dependable, He will never lamb blast us and certainly never delights in our mistakes – He loves us and wants us walking in faith not fear. Are any areas in your life where you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Allow the Holy Spirit to take you by the hand and restore your confidence. 

Hey and next time it rains go stomp in some puddles and remind yourself you’re free!

Hugs Ruth x

How your attitude to marriage reflects your attitude to church!

We live in a consumer culture, one which places great significance on our power of choice. In fact we are actively encouraged to choose based on how we feel and what will gratify. Pause for just a moment and think about the last time you went shopping. Why did you buy what you bought? Did it satisfy you? And where is it now? You see in our Western world there is a cycle - choose, consume, and discard.  Do you know what I mean? We ask ourselves what will this do for me, how it will enrich our life and if it doesn't meet our expectations we can simply get rid and do the whole cycle of choice thing all over again.  I wonder how far reaching this cycle is; how much consumer orientation happens under the radar of our collective consciousness?

Many in our society practice a ‘try before you buy’ policy when it comes to relationships. If it doesn't gratify or work out each one can simply walk away. This choice, consumption, discard cycle will leave us dissatisfied because we’ll want the next new thing. For the first year of my married life I genuinely thought I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. All I could see were the negative aspects of my husband – I actively looked for the things the poor guy got wrong so I could prove my ‘theory of negatively’ about him. Here’s the thing WHAT YOU SEEK YOU WILL FIND! I wanted evidence to back up my reasoning that my husband was a jerk and guess what I found it, because he is a human being! In focusing only on the negative I lost sight, I blinded myself to all his many great qualities. What’s more I slipped into deception in relation to my own numerous flaws.  Over the years I have learned that the wrestling process grows character and staying in the game is good not just for us two but for a much wider circle of folks.

Now think about your church… sadly there are those with their own theories of negativity about their churches; the principle the same – what we focus on we WILL find. You look for what’s wrong and you’ll find it because the church is made of flawed human beings.  It grieves me deeply when people treat the church as a product. When something that’s said rubs them up the wrong way they leave to continue the consumer cycle elsewhere. The problem with this is just like my marriage analogy is it renders us blind and when you’re blind you’re vulnerable to that which you cannot see.  Just like a marriage when we sign up to a church we are in a relationship with that body. Being in a relationship means you belong to each other. Your church belongs to you and you to your church. By committing to the wrestling process in doing life with others we grow in grace, build hope and mature in love. How have you been treating your church? Have you been a source of love and encouragement to that that body? Are you cheerfully committed through times of body odour and bad jokes? Perhaps you need to go to God and apologise for your attitude towards or your treatment of His bride? 

Mmmm.... food for thought this week I know I'm challenged - by my own words!

Love Ruth x