What are you Compensating for?

I have foot in mouth as many of you who know me will attest to! For those of you who regularly follow my blog you’ll know about my struggle with mental ill health in the form of depression. When I’m in the deep sadness I am less sharp socially than I need to be and live knowing at any moment I could unwittingly do / say something and drop a clanger. I do this because my diplomacy filters aren’t functioning as they usually do and I interact from within my cloud. I have lost count of the times I’ve acted first and weighted up my actions second only to realise I’ve dropped the ball and framed my conversation too bluntly and caused offence. This really bugs me about me!

I was pondering a few of the times when the mess of my inner-self sloped out and I suffered the humiliation of ‘not being the nice person everyone thought I was’... (Actually most of the time I'm really quite a likeable person). I genuinely care deeply for people; they matter to me – so when I inadvertently cause hurt I'm reminded of my need for God. I’m reminded of His grace and His goodness towards me. During my quiet time it dawned on me that much of what I do tries to compensate for this weakness, for no one enjoys rejection. I realised I try and be so kind and so loving; folks will overlook my weird days.  There are times this has led to an unhealthy exhaustion as I’ve tried to people please to compensate for the times I know I'll probably drop a clanger! 

What I have learned in my time on this earth is when I'm living to please God He covers me. He covers my inappropriateness, my pride, my mistakes. His grace somehow fragrances the contexts buffering against my foggy days. His grace brings humour and favour where I don’t deserve it. When I’m living to please my saviour I don’t need to compensate because His hand is upon my life shaping me, sculpting me into something that will bring Him Glory!

Folks - the Lord loves a trier! Just keep living to please Him, to bring Glory to the one who called you out of darkeners and into His wonderful light, and you’ll be ok!

Love Ruth 

More blogs from Ruth can be found on www.ruthtong.com

Control or be Controlled

Hey peeps I’m back! I’ve not blogged for a while as I’ve been up to my eyes so I guess I’d better make this a Doozie!

Lately I find I am increasingly working with teams of people. I love people! The skin and bone stuff of life, glaringly inconsistent, full of joy and sorrow meshed in the complexities of a human heart. Aren’t people wonderful? Yeah sometime crazy but always wonderful! People are the very purpose of God. He has an insatiable appetite to be involved in our lives, in all the muddle and all the majesty! God’s motivation towards all He has created is born of love. I’ve been thinking a lot about motivation of late… What drives a person to get their sleeves rolled up and get stuck in while others spectate? What leads someone to harm themselves, while others are led to heal? It’s good to develop a healthy self-awareness, to examine our ‘inner us’ and reason why we do what we do!

Teams work well where a leader has love as their motivation and not a need to be in control. Being rigidly in control can be a false god because when you’re holding on to power for power’s sake God is not really the boss of you! Often a need to be in control is rooted in fear or pride – Yikes that’s one well known yet lethal cocktail – I really want, nay need, God to be the boss of me completely in all areas, not just the ones I’m comfortable with letting go of. When we’re holding on to control we’re not trusting Our Father who has perfect motivation. When we consider God’s motivation we can see it’s humble, peacefully surrendered and filled with love. God’s love grows the potential in others. God’s love is pure in motive. God’s love releases the need to be in control; it is based on trust and choosing to think the best. The bible gives us a really helpful formula to help our motivation to be love rather than fear or pride…

Galatians 5:22-25 ‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. There is no law against such things. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit let us also be guided by the Spirit’. Mmmm… good advice from Paul eh?

Have a great week Hugs Ruth

In a few weeks my blogs will appear on my new website - so please do check it out www.ruthtong.com