Well gang I left you with a cliff hanger last week didn't I? We were thinking about pressing through our fear and being a wee bit bolder. Which reminds me of a line from a brill kids song, 'if Jesus is de rock we should be a little boulder' - hee hee! Well after last weeks blog I thought I'd better actually think of something to step out in faith with now that I've committed myself on paper (albeit it the cyber variety). You know guys, one of the things about tapping away on your keyboard in your study is - you never know if anyone actually reads the stuff you write. There's an anonymity and an innocence to it really. My heart as a writer is to bring the truth and encouragement of Christ into your world but something happened on a personal level which I really didn't expect.
For those of you who don't know I have battled with childhood abuse, depression, cancer and more and my ever faithful God has been with me through it all. We have danced and still do when a new level of victory is reached. So I know to some extent what it is to war and press through in the spirit (I love Eph 6)! Well the week started and I'm thinking right shall I do this or would that be better? Did a couple of things that took me out of my comfort zone but that's kinda where I live anyways so this wasn't a huge deal. Then wham... something happened mid week and as a result I found myself almost winded by a spirit of hopelessness and fear. I was blindsided and fighting for spiritual breath, ever been there? I wrestled until Saturday when I had the bright idea of calling a dear friend and asking for prayer. I'm warrior but one of my weaknesses is that I find it really hard to ask for help and don't like to burden other people. God reminded me of the power of two or more standing together in prayer - my perspective was lifted, my heart was stilled and reminded of the Truth that God was, is and always will be totally in control. I'm pleased to say from this position of 'remindment' and in His graciousness, on Sunday God did allow me to experience a situation which did scare me a little but after confronting it I felt empowered, encouraged and a little bit stronger... In our weakness His is our Big Beautiful and Ever Faithful God.
Hugs Ruth x
Feeling the fear is just where I am right now - blind sided, wiped out and ready to quit. I too, struggle to ask for help but your words have reminded me that actually God does not call us to face these things on our own. He told me to build a prayer circle and I've put it off so I'm doing it right now! Thank you x
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone, Ruth, in your experiences from the past or your struggles in the present. It can be so hard to reach out and admit we have a problem sometimes. I am finding it gets easier once the first step is taken and there is great joy in sharing one another's burdens in prayer. You are no less a warrior for needing help yourself at times. Stay strong in Him. God bless you :)xx
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