I don’t like
being vulnerable. I really mean it; I don’t do the whole vulnerability thing
well at all. A few weeks ago I shared a
very personal testimony about my walk through depression to subsequent freedom.
I have to confess for me this was a difficult thing to do. Firstly not very
many people were aware of my battle with the deep sadness apart from a couple
of very close friends. At the time of posting I wondered what people would
think, particularly those who only know the Pollyanna me. The pretend me who
smiled and tried really hard to be a ray of sunshine despite inner turmoil. I
wondered would they feel deceived or mislead and if it would it cost me
friendships? Secondly I grew up in an environment where people have ‘real
problems’ for goodness sake and so I wondered if my family would roll their
eyes in misunderstanding! Thirdly I know there are some folks out there who for
their own reasons, dislike me and I felt it might fodder ammunition.
I’ve been
pondering this for a while now and God’s been showing me a few things; like…
When we’re
honest in our vulnerability we’re not a threat, when we’re vulnerable we
release other’s to fully ‘be’ all that they are. When we’re vulnerable in
honest truth we touch a God given core in each human soul because everyone has their weak spot! When I look at the viewing numbers on my blog there’s
usually fifty or so who read it but in uncovering the whole topic of the deep
sadness there where hundreds who read and I hope where encouraged.
Maybe by
setting down our shields of protection we can draw out the softer warmer,
gentler side of human nature. Perhaps by being less paranoid and suspicious we
can see past the prickles (and we all have ‘em) to the tender heart. I believe
God is calling me to practice a new aspect of faith – the faith to be vulnerable and
to trust that vulnerability into His mighty hands. And Just in case I wobble in
my vulnerability… John 10:28 reminds me there ain’t nobody who can snatch me out
of His hand!
Go on praise
God with a little dance – jiggle it BABY!
Hugs Ruth
No comments:
Post a Comment