Tuesday, October 1, 2013

How your attitude to marriage reflects your attitude to church!


We live in a consumer culture, one which places great significance on our power of choice. In fact we are actively encouraged to choose based on how we feel and what will gratify. Pause for just a moment and think about the last time you went shopping. Why did you buy what you bought? Did it satisfy you? And where is it now? You see in our Western world there is a cycle - choose, consume, and discard.  Do you know what I mean? We ask ourselves what will this do for me, how it will enrich our life and if it doesn't meet our expectations we can simply get rid and do the whole cycle of choice thing all over again.  I wonder how far reaching this cycle is; how much consumer orientation happens under the radar of our collective consciousness?

Many in our society practice a ‘try before you buy’ policy when it comes to relationships. If it doesn't gratify or work out each one can simply walk away. This choice, consumption, discard cycle will leave us dissatisfied because we’ll want the next new thing. For the first year of my married life I genuinely thought I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. All I could see were the negative aspects of my husband – I actively looked for the things the poor guy got wrong so I could prove my ‘theory of negatively’ about him. Here’s the thing WHAT YOU SEEK YOU WILL FIND! I wanted evidence to back up my reasoning that my husband was a jerk and guess what I found it, because he is a human being! In focusing only on the negative I lost sight, I blinded myself to all his many great qualities. What’s more I slipped into deception in relation to my own numerous flaws.  Over the years I have learned that the wrestling process grows character and staying in the game is good not just for us two but for a much wider circle of folks.


Now think about your church… sadly there are those with their own theories of negativity about their churches; the principle the same – what we focus on we WILL find. You look for what’s wrong and you’ll find it because the church is made of flawed human beings.  It grieves me deeply when people treat the church as a product. When something that’s said rubs them up the wrong way they leave to continue the consumer cycle elsewhere. The problem with this is just like my marriage analogy is it renders us blind and when you’re blind you’re vulnerable to that which you cannot see.  Just like a marriage when we sign up to a church we are in a relationship with that body. Being in a relationship means you belong to each other. Your church belongs to you and you to your church. By committing to the wrestling process in doing life with others we grow in grace, build hope and mature in love. How have you been treating your church? Have you been a source of love and encouragement to that that body? Are you cheerfully committed through times of body odour and bad jokes? Perhaps you need to go to God and apologise for your attitude towards or your treatment of His bride? 


Mmmm.... food for thought this week I know I'm challenged - by my own words!

Love Ruth x


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